1. Feel something.
2. Figure out why you feel it.
3. Form a sentence that describes that feeling and the reason behind it.
4. Offer that sentiment to another person.
5. Receive their response.
1. Be honest.
2. Be kind
a. first with your self
b. with the other person
YES, YES, YES, YES!!!!! So much THIS!
Anonymous said: Towards the whole "pronouns hurt people's feelings" topic. Am I REALLY the only person on the planet that thinks people are becoming far to sensative? Nearly to the point that they shouldn't leave their little home bubbles in the case that a bird chirps next to them in a way that sounds like a mean word. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, we're becoming a little TOO coddling and people need to learn to deal with simplistic shit like words. And yes, I've been insulted and made fun of. I got over it. So can you.
Supposedly invented by the Chinese, there is an ancient form of torture that is nothing more than cold, tiny drops falling upon a person’s forehead.
On its own, a single drop is nothing. It falls upon the brow making a tiny splash. It doesn’t hurt. No real harm comes from it.
In multitudes, the drops are still fairly harmless. Other than a damp forehead, there really is no cause for concern.
The key to the torture is being restrained. You cannot move. You must feel each drop. You have lost all control over stopping these drops of water from splashing on your forehead.
It still doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. But person after person, time and time again—would completely unravel psychologically. They all had a breaking point where each drop turned into a horror. Building and building until all sense of sanity was completely lost.
"It was just a joke, quite being so sensitive."
"They used the wrong pronoun, big deal."
"So your parents don’t understand, it could be worse."
Day after day. Drop after drop. It builds up. A single instance on its own is no big deal. A few drops, not a problem. But when you are restrained, when you cannot escape the drops, when it is unending—these drops can be agony.
People aren’t sensitive because they can’t take a joke. Because they can’t take being misgendered one time. Because they lack a thick skin.
People are sensitive because the drops are unending and they have no escape from them.
You are only seeing the tiny, harmless, single drop hitting these so-called “sensitive” people. You are failing to see the thousands of drops endured before that. You are failing to see the restraints that make them inescapable.
Why is it always “Dumbledore is my fave” or “Dumbledore is abusive” and never “Dumbledore is so fucking afraid of letting another dark wizard come to power that he channels his own darkness into training a human weapon from childhood to fight the darkness that he knows he can’t while pretending to be the wise wizard mentor that he wishes he actually was wow that is a super fascinating character and we should write all the fanfiction about it?”
i would give my left kidney for asexual taystee jefferson.
she’s an extrovert who cares more about her family in all its forms than she is in dating.
none of her flashbacks or current prison drama revolve around fucking.
when poussey kisses her she says she’s “not like that” but cuddling is fine and she obviously enjoys that - why is everyone assuming she means she’s straight?
when she yells at p in the library she never says the issue is that she liked her, it’s that she liked her “like that” and “wanted her to take off her clothes and shit” - those are not the words of someone uncomfortable with a lesbian. those are the words of someone uncomfortable with sex.
she jokes about sex but it’s /always/ a joke. “a nubian king with a nubian thing”? come on. she uses it like a punchline. she uses it like an ace.
can you imagine? if any show were to have some ace representation, i could see it being orange is the new black. and can you imagine it being TAYSTEE? the fan favorite, loud and happy and dancing - sings like an angel, stings like a bee - can you imagine? taystee saying, “no, i’m asexual. not like a fucking plant, like a person. i just don’t like it.” can you IMAGINE? allosexual people being forced to see an ace character who wasn’t a novelty or a joke or treated like it was a disorder? can you imagine allosexual people actually /hearing/ the word asexual on one of the most popular tv shows that exists right now? can you even imagine?
Anonymous said: When u were saying about the Emma Watson speech I understand why you'd feel left out of the spectrum but would this not mean that whatever you identify as (on any given day) should be treated fairly regardless of the gender u identify as on a daily
Unfortunately, that is not at all what she said. The whole speech was 50 years overdue and 30 years outdated. Don’t get me wrong, I think Emma Watson is wonderful and I was delighted when she was appointed Goodwill Amb., but I definitely feel that her highly gendered feminism 101 for the masses speech left a lot to be desired.
Anonymous said: Oh look, an uneducated psuedo- intellectual! Her speech was fine, you fucking hick
(we are talking about this post btw)
Those weren’t my only problems with it but YES.
Oh me either but I didn’t want to make the post so long no one would even bother reading it. Fully dissecting that painfully one-dimensional and perfectly palatable speech would take a much longer post than that, and is perhaps something I will endeavor to do another night. we shall see I suppose, depending on how much hate mail I get over that post. :P
Me myself and I have a heated internal debate about the word feminism. In light of what seems like a lot of celebrities recently kind of “coming out” as “not feminists,” and the world praising Emma Watson for her (in my opinion sterilized, nonintersectional, rather immature) speech, it seems like a good time to say something.
I’ll admit it. I don’t really identify as a feminist. Not really. But I really, really want to identify as a feminist. Emma Watson perfectly articulated the reasons why identifying as a feminist is complicated for me when she defined feminism as: “the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. It is the theory of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes.” She made it perfectly clear where I stand when she named her campaign “He for She,” and when she said that both men AND women need to work on this issue. Okay Emma, I get it. I’m not invited. I am not a He or a She. While you’re off fighting for “men and women,” where is that supposed to leave me?
I have not seen anyone question or challenge Emma Watson’s definition of feminism, because her definition was, well, right! Inherently, feminism leaves me high and dry, because I don’t fit into the either/or of privileged versus not privileged. And it isn’t just me. I am not interested in a gender equality movement that, by definition, leaves out non-binary people.
On the other hand, I understand the importance of ensuring that feminism does not become a dirty word for the wrong reasons; I cringe when I see celebrities disown it as I know they are not doing so in a statement towards intersectionality and inclusion of all gender identities, but rather as a poorly guided, misinformed denial of the very real struggles that women around the world face every day. And so I am trying to identify as a feminist.
As an DFAB person who lived as exclusively female for over 15 years, is still occasionally female presenting, and almost always gets read as female I do feel I have discourse to add to this discussion, but as Emma Watson so aptly quoted Statesman Edmund Burke “All that is needed for the forces of evil to triumph is for good men and women to do nothing.” Looks like y’all don’t need my help.
ORRRR maybe we should put in a little time ensuring that, with the number of non-binary people worldwide increasing exponentially, we create a gender movement that actually is inclusive to everyone, not just men and women. I want to work towards that movement, and I cannot work towards that movement without identifying as a feminist. But I cannot identify as a feminist if we keep allowing definitions like Emma Watson’s to go unquestioned and unchallenged.